Heat wave

so this week we've had a heat wave in JHB
its been no less than 35 - 36 degree's everyday and just my luck my aircon dies on monday
i sit in like a 3 x 3m office and if i open my windows they open onto rivonia road and it sounds like im standing on a run way at OR Tambo... so thats a no go... i live for my aircon...

anyway i phone the people who own the building and tell them to send someone immediately

Tuesday...
Midday
Terrence arrives.... holy jesus the temp just rose to 40 - 45 degrees...
im blushing im sure by now im beyond red and a lighter shade of purple

hes so hot and hes bending in front of me and hes wearing calvin klein underwear... oh my.....

i decide to go for a smoke because i cant cope in the small space and he's trying to make small talk while his poor dude is fixing the aircon...
i get back to the office and theyre still in there
he asks if i have any glue...
i pass him pritt? like pritt is gonna do anything?
our hands touch i freak im not bright purple and start giggling like a 2 year old

anyway he cant fix it so he has to come back.... dammit.... YES!

anyway he hasnt been back yet because he's waiting for parts, but he'll be back... so i need advice?
do i ask for his number or give him my business card in an attempt for us to have meaningless hot sex? lol

murphys law.... driving home today, rivonia road 5pm traffic....
guess whos driving next to me
our eyes meet and i kinda do this stupid girly wave and phone shari immediately....

sigh
ill keep you updated on my heat wave...

This weekend is Kings of Leon - i pretty much think theyre gay but i must admit i do like a few songs... and of course the brothers are HOT!!!!!!!
so heres to the next misadventures and wish me luck cause move over bitch im with the band is about to take place....
saturday here we come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRING IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More about saturday...

so i dont think i explained saturday really well, maybe due to my state of mind, but guess whos back....

so saturday we go meet Kay - this rad assed tattoo dude with tattoos all over his neck and his face and i must admit sexy and agro in his own way... way cant wait to be screaming in pain next weekend on his bed...

anyways back to saturday...

so we decide to go for a drink and "a drink" is never a drink with us and we should know this... please see below and this was just one serving....

let it be known we were in the heart of kempton, next thing we see a convoy of bmw's driving through the parking lot pretending they were on the next slim set of the fast and furious.
dropping the clutch like it was hot and doing handbreak turns and drifting through the parking lot - sooooo hot right now.... sigh
next expecting some hotties to get out the car - yeah right -  a bunch of Napoleon dynamites that looked they were someones bitch in prison jump out and flip their collared shirts.... oh baby!
i hope you can sense of immense sarcasm while im writing this....
anyway this just gets me going so i start talking as loud as possible about how hot dudes that spin cars are and oh baby baby... this of course gets some attention... stares... so i do my nod - how you doing - said like joey from friends...

the drifter crew

                                                          LOOK UP

we carry on talking and singing and carrying on like only we can do which by the way ive been told intimidates everyone - guess what... get over it, its not always about you...

so to my right are two dudes that i keep looking at because we keep over hearing their conversation - csi mode on and i start taking photos of the scenery trying to zoom in on these dudes.
i can tell he's completely high, his jaw is tight and he's biting his lips and just doesnt shut up.
next thing he shouts - I HATE BUZZ LIGHTYEAR!!!!!
so we shout TO INFINITY AND BEYOND and air punch...

FAIL VOGUES ON FLOOR!

next round of drinks, im already pretty over my limit seen as though i hadnt drank for over a month... yes thats an achievement
2 milktarts waiting - vodka, condensed milk and cream
half of it goes down......
IT WAS LIKE THAT VROT MILK our south african's like to drink
it was thick and sour and guess what it didnt go down
I PUKED!!!!!! infront of everyone....
i run into the parking lot and have puke now running down my chin and onto my clothes.... so hot right now....
i stand there for a while and compose myself... waiting for my sidekick who doesnt arrive - thanks
so after composing myself i return to the table to finish my drink, not the second milktart.... never ever again....

next the fucked dude says hey who are you with
so i say my cuz
so he says come over and have a drink with us....
never in my life would i ever ever ever do something like that but i thought hey what the fuck lets go....
so we went over and had some shooters with this dude
his friend leaves the table and wishes us luck

we talk for a while and laugh hes from south east london so has this heavy accent which we all know i love...
he asks us what our 3 fav things are in life...
we kinda have to think a little but he just shouts out
shnarfing, fucking and drinking

jesus where are we....

FAIL



Next cuz notices the dude is also wearing secret socks which was just too good to be true so of course i took full responsibility

Next this crazy fuck decides it would be a good idea to do a backflip on the jumping castle which just by the way is on the other side of the centre and is out side a family restaurant - he tells a child to get off so he can do this, obviously i followed him to take photos so everyone is staring at us like we're crazy but we're in kempton so do what they do right? wouldve been better if i had no shoes on and was wearing my pjs

FAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so this dude keeps telling us to go home with him... yeah sure so i say add me on bbm and we'll chat and meet you for a drink.... so i add him, his name is Hightower? i mean really?

eventually its getting a little boring and he keeps calling us bitches and the c word cause hes english and its hot?

next he gets my cuz and says shes the most beautiful chick hes ever seen... and her greatest asset apart from her great tits said in such a british accent .... HER TEETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was done... it was time for me to go home and shower and puke myself to sleep

needless to say Mr Hightower deleted me the next day... embarrassed MUCH?

Till the next adventure bitches!!!!

 

My first fan mail!!!!!! yeah wooo!

This really made my day today, thank you my friend!
ive finally made it i have a real fan and i feel loved

xxx

Unimpressed.....
Hey you, how are you doing? Feeling any perkier this week?

So like i must say. I desperately needed a pick me up today and decided to read your blog. Where is the funny damnit?! I get that you aren't in a funny place, but what about us? Don't you have some kind of duty to your readers? Its cool and cute that you wrote about me (i think, lord knows how many Michelle's there are), much love, always. Please for all of us go out and have the craziest weekend yet and tell us all about it! Okay?

Just letting you know i'm thinking about you babe!

xxx

my only one true love

without you

so after the amazing weekend with the love of my life
i hardly heard from him and when i did it was one word answers
along came tuesday... 18th october my dads birthday...
i want answers and i want them now
so i confront him and supposedly he ran because i show emotion?
i show emotion? because i kissed him?
he didnt stop me and he didnt stop after the kiss, he took my close off and well you all know what happens then.
he tells me he cant believe that im actually talking about this again when he has already told me twice that he cant do this and he is numb to all feels you know what makes me so angry, the fact that hes been one of my best friends for 14 years, we spoke on a daily basis, we saw each other, we had good times
but that stupid night at capellos when he told me he had feelings for me - he changed everything and he can just walk away and im left with this..

i told the love of my life it was the last time he would hear from me
facebook gone, skype gone...

anyway tuesday was the end of the michelle thats been around for the last few years.

i must be honest im missing facebook, the laughs, the stupid status updates, the photos, the news
but you know what i find so funny that only one person has been in touch since then and my so called friends have not even noticed that im not on facebook
i havent got one sms, one email etc etc except from Michelle and she has just popped back into my life
so i guess that shows me another thing

i had an eye opening session on wednesday i went to see a psychologist....
and she got me in the first 30 seconds and explained so much that i havent thought about

sorry for the really down post but i guess not being on facebook i have no where else to put my thoughts out there...

so this weekend
friday i was really tired and wanted to get a few movies and chill
my bad boy smsd me and said hi and asked what i was up to
he said he was having a strong drink after a kak day and asked me to join him
so i jumped in my car and did about 180 the whole way there
we chatted for a while, giggled, listened to music and then my phone rang i had to take the call so i sat a little forward on the couch and he started tickling my back and then all of a sudden kissed me on my neck
i said to the person on the phone i gotta go and giggled
he pulled me through to his room and basically just ripped my clothes off
it was amazing
it was intense
it lasted ages it was yummy
it was good
we chatted some more and i left sometime in the morning

saturday was supposed to be a chilled day but turned out to be pretty funny
went to meet my next tattoo artist
and then went for a drink
it was beyond funny with dudes doing wheelspins in the parking lot pretending they were the main manne
and when they got out they looked like they were someones bitch from prision
next thing we know we get invited to these dudes tables and spend like next few hours talking shit
getting drunk
watching him trying to do a backflip on a jumping castle
i will load the photos asap

i miss my friend
i miss his laugh
i miss the shit we could talk for hours
i miss the fun we had
i just miss him....

Step 1

Last weekend I thought I spent an amazing weekend with the "love of my life"
I thought it was the connection and time we needed and it felt like it.
We laughed, we sang, we played, we kissed, we made love, we laughed for more than 72 hours of pure joy and happiness.
Along came monday and I already knew that everything was back to how its been for him
that this is nothing serious
that he cant commit
that he isnt ready for this
and here i go again on a roller coaster of emotions of what i can do to fix this
what i can do to make him see that this is right
to make him believe me and to make him take the journey with me
but maybe im wrong
maybe im the stupid one - i mean he could have anyone he wanted
hes gorgeous
he has a personality to match
hes funny
basically hes just a dream guy
so why would he settle for me...
anyway after a week of wrecked emotions

i decided to do what the blog was intended for - my journey to become more like  a man - stop putting emotions first, stop falling in love and basically make the word "love" disappear from my vocab.

In comes a very old ex - im talking 1998 - 13 years ago....
he was my bad boy, the type you see on movies, the one you can never get
well i had him but i let him go...
we've stayed in contact over the years and gone for a drink or two but nothing serious
we've always played this teasing game because hes my bad boy and im his baby blue eyes
when we used to kiss it felt like time stood still, we would sit in his car and kiss for hours
so lately we've been teasing each other over sms's etc that we need to hook up and see if those kisses are still so good
we also always tease each other by asking what each other is wearing etc etc
im sure you all know how it goes
so we've been planning this hook up for a while
so i woke up on sunday morning, tired of feeling sorry for myself and sent him and sms saying i was waiting and he didnt need to worry about what he was wearing cause he wouldnt be wearing it for long...
now for those of you who know me, know i would never ever say anything like that...
so get in my car determined to have meaningless sex and see what it felt like and see if i could just erase all emotion and all thoughts of the love of my life out of my head.

well what happened could have been in a movie
we laughed and laughed and chatted and chatted
he started tickling my arm and i knew it was now or never.....
I leaned over and kissed him
and we didnt stop kissing for an hour
but everytime i opened my eyes i kept seeing that it wasnt the love of my life infront of me....
but it was my objective to make this happen and see if it helped at all....
eventually he got up and pulled me to the bedroom.... *insert dramatic music here*

I cant say we had sex because it was far too romantic for that, it really was a scene from a movie
but again everytime i opened my eyes i kept thinking this isnt the right guy
is that what people feel like when they cheat?
but trust me it was amazing, no beyond amazing..... sigh.....

So what now?
I walked away achieving a goal, that I could have meaningless sex? well could i?
it didnt help me get over mr right
it made me feel guilty

so do i just try it again and see if it get any better?

needless to say today i have had a cheesy grin on my face allll day and keep giggling to myself
and just to make it worse im stiff as hell :)

anyone got the next victum theyd like to suggest?