Love?

I guess my first memory of noticing the opposite sex was probably in primary school, you know the odd fondle, the sneaky kiss etc etc

But the first time I fell in love was in high school, my first real relationship that involved real emotions, real feelings, real heart ache… it lasted 8 years….

I was faithful until I knew the relationship was over but not over if that makes sense…

One day  I packed my bags and went on holiday to stay with a guy I met on some chat site…

He fetched me from the airport and oh my! He was so hot, he was wearing a suit and looked very dashing for a 17 year old. We made the long drive from the airport to Simonstown in silence… weird because on line we couldn’t stop talking, flirting….

A few days past in a blur probably due to the amount of substances flowing through my blood stream…

Shane and I had still hardly said a word to each other and it was becoming pretty awkward until he had a house party and a friend arrived who seemed to like the look of me, I don’t know what his name was but I’ll call him gecko as he had one tattooed on his chest….

Later that night / morning I went to bed and a few minutes later there was a knock on the door…. Gecko and I had a fun evening and that morning I did my first walk of shame with my packed bags and I went and sat on the beach until my friend came to fetch me and rescue me from that situation.

I suppose that’s the evening I realised the power of attraction…

Why was it easy that night for me not to put any emotion in a situation like that?

Why could I handle that situation at 17 and I cant handle the situation at 28?

A few weeks ago the love of my life walked back into my life after being away for a few years…

R2000 later at Capellos and we’re in the parking lot confessing our dying love to each other… the next time I see him we land up “making love” *giggle*

This lasts a couple of weeks and then guess what he disappears again…. And im crushed….

I even told him no strings attached – I can do this, I don’t want a relationship…

Who was I kidding, I spent the next few weeks alone in bed, crying, watching stupid love movies, drinking and smoking a box a day…. Wtf….

So heres the point again… Ive decided to become a slapper….

And to those who find that funny and say I cant do it… well welcome to the misadventures of me….

If anyone knows of any willing participants to help with my diary please send me a detailed bio and photo…

Any band members will do – im over the dj’s